Monday, November 5, 2007

Good Beer Here

Like you, we here at JonesyDog love beer. All kinds of beer. Ales, stouts, lagers. Kegged beer, canned beer, bottled beer (but not green bottles. Those are for frat boys and . . . well, I guess just frat boys). Beers brewed in big factories, in local breweries, and in Chuck’s kitchen. We welcome all walks of beer as long as it meets our single, vital criteria: it has to be good.

We’ve tasted enough beer to know what’s good and what’s swill. I think we’ve collectively drunk about a Lake Erie’s worth. Some of you are saying to yourself, ‘Isn’t that actually the smallest of the Great Lakes?’ And it is, you clever buggers, but come on, it’s still a Great Lake, and it still adds up to 116 cubic miles (of rancid, polluted water--pretty much what you'll find in a Heineken). We figure that's enough to qualify our opinion as 'expert.'

Not all of our drinking experiences have been pleasant. There is some awful filth out there masquerading as beer. We’ve come across a lot of it. And we think it would be a shame for you to repeat our mistakes. Drinking beer should be an enjoyable experience, not a disgusting disappointment.

The way it’s gonna work is, we’ll regularly post our review of whatever beer we happen to be drinking that day and tell you whether it’s safe for you to drink, too. Pretty soon we’ll have a vast library of reviews that you can peruse at your own leisure. In the mean time, if there’s a beer that piques your interest but you don’t see it on our list, let us know and we’ll put it through our professional screening process. That is, if we can find it and it doesn’t cost $15 a bottle (looking at you, La Folie).

We’re not beer snobs or connoisseurs. We won’t tell you it has notes of burnt white oak or green grape undertones. We aren’t interested in how fruity the nose is. You don’t really care about that anyway. You just want to know if a beer is worth your money to buy and worth your time to taste. We’ll tell you that.

We drink other stuff, too. Namely, whiskey. So we’ll review the firewater every now and again, as well. Of course, if you want us to review some obscure 18-year-old single malt, you’re going to have to send us a bottle, or at least pick up our tab at Pint’s.

That brings us to our final point: we don’t do all our drinking at home. There are plenty of bars out there that you’ve never been to, right? Chances are, we’ve tied on a few there at some point. Kind of comes with the territory. The territory of drinking a lot, I mean. So we will let you know, in as much detail as we feel up to, what Denver-area bars deserve your money and which ones just plain suck.

Feel free to comment. We probably don’t care what you have to say, but someone else might (not likely). At any rate, we’re open to suggestions. And don’t forget to click on our sponsors. They keep us dr--uh, in business.


Dobitoc said...

Uhm...will you guys also be providing some insight into local joints that have some pretty decent happy hour deals?

Chuck said...

On it. Anywhere specific you want us to do damage to? My sights are on some new Belgian beer joint on Colfax, but I'm not a picky man.

Dobitoc said...

Well, I hate to be the only to respond to this, because obviously I am going to request joints that are close to where I work. With that in mind, any place near Colfax and Franklin would be great. However, I think any place that has plenty of parking (street or otherwise) and is within 5 miles of downtown denver would be perfect.